Me Vs Cooking

Tergelitik sama pertanyaan salah seorang sahabat waktu buka puasa kemarin: koq lo sering masak sih? Jawaban yang terlintas di kepala cuma: ga ada kerjaan lagi (secara saya stay-at-home mom) *ga bermaksud mendeskritkan sahm dengan ga ada kerjaan ya kerjaan rumah mah selalu ada. Dan sahabat saya bukan satu2nya orang yang terheran-heran dengan kesenangan saya memasak atau kebisaan saya memasak.

To be honest ga banyak yang tau kehidupan saya termasuk kecintaan saya terhadap masak (makanan dan kue). Mungkin banyak yang ga bakal percaya tapi this is the truth. Awalnya karena nenek saya berkecimpung di dunia perkateringan dan seluruh anak perempuannya termasuk mama saya mau ga mau suka ga suka jadi ikutan. Karena saya termasuk anak nene (anak yang dibesarkan oleh nene) saya banyak menghabiskan waktu dengan nene saya. Saya lupa tepatnya tapi semenjak SD kelas 5/6 saya sudah fasih memegang pisau dapur yang tajam dan fasih mengupas dan memotong wortel. Sejak SD itu pula saya sering keluar masuk pasar tradisional di pagi-pagi buta bersama nene saya atau bersama mama saya. Sahabat saya dulu adalah tukang ayam langganan mama di pasar yang setiap saya datang beliau selalu kasih saya uang Rp. 20.000,-  (20 tahun yang lalu uang segitu itu besaar). Di usia 10/11 tahun tu mama saya sudah mempercayakan saya ke pasar sendiri untuk memesan kebutuhan katering nene saya atau keperluan mama saya yang lain. Kebiasaan saya membantu nene atau mama saya berlangsung sampai saya sma jadi bisa dibayangkan 8 tahun ikut berjibaku di dapur. Jadi saya terbiasa bangun dari jam 3 pagi untuk ikut membantu lalu berangkat jam 5 pagi ke tempat nene saya berjualan dan berjualan sampai jam 12 lalu pulang dan membantu mama saya mencuci dan membersihkan peralatan memasak.

Saya sendiri kalau ditanya lebih fasih bikin kue daripada memasak makanan. Karena saya tumbuh melihat mama saya memasak kue dan nene saya memasak makanan. Tapi tugas saya banyak di kue daripada makanan. Sejak SD mencetak kue ketan dan kue lupis adalah tugas saya. Di SMP dan SMA saya sudah membuat klepon dan kue lapis pepe sendiri walau semua bahan sudah disediakan mama saya. Di kuliah saya jenuh dan hanya membantu jualan tante saya. Saya sendiri belum pernah belajar dari nol sama nene dan mama saya karena saat saya sudah cukup besar untuk memasak sendiri mama saya meninggal. Tapi memori karena sering melihat nene dan mama saya memasak makanan dan kue jadi memori yang seringkali saya ingat pada saya masak. Ga bisa dipungkiri bakat memasak mengalir deras di keluarga mama saya. Semua perempuan di keluarga mama saya bisa masak dan itu menurun ke cucu cucu perempuannya. Ya, saya dan sepupu saya suka memasak. Bahkan sepupu saya lebih berani dari saya karena sepupu saya berani menjual hasil masakannya. Sesuatu yang saya takuti sebenernya. Jadi ga ada cerita orang lain mencoba masakan saya kecuali suami, bapak dan adik2 saya.

Suatu waktu saya pernah berujar kepada om saya "om mau berkebun nih" lalu om saya menjawab "ga ada itu sejarahnya dikeluarga kita berkebun kalau masak iya". Tapi itu lah adanya darah memasak begitu kental di saya. Saya suka memasak saya menikmati bikin kue. Tapi jangan berharap saya jualan ya atau kasih tester. Saya pribadi meragukan kemampuan diri saya karena saya bukan orang yang bisa memasak pakai resep saya cenderung pakai feeling. Karena setiap kali saya memasak pakai resep hasilnya akan aneh sekali makanya saya ga pernah berani orang lain makan makanan saya karena takut beda selera. Saya sendiri penyuka clean taste yang artinya ga terlalu suka banyak bumbu. Saya suka rasa alami sayuran. Itu kenapa dalam hal bikin kue saya sering gagal. Bikin kue itu harup pakai resep dan precise sekali tapi yang terjadi saya sering pakai feeling jadi yang bisa merasakan eksperimen saya hanya orang2 terdekat saya saja. Saya sendiri baru rajin memasak ketika tinggal di rumah sendiri karena lebih bebas ya. Bisa kreasi apa aja yang di mau.

Karena dari kecil saya sudah berkecimpung di dunia permasakan katering dan jualan hal itu memberikan momok tersendiri buat saya sekarang. Karena saya tahu betul betapa lelahnya berjualan dibidang makanan, uangnya ok karena profitnya bisa 2x lipat tapi usaha yang dikeluarkan juga luar biasa. Makanya saya ga pernah mau diminta berjualan atau menjual makanan yang saya buat. Itu dan karena lahir dan besar dari keluarga yang sangaaat menyukai makanan saya punya standar tersendiri soal makan yang dijual.

Adanya kecintaan saya memasak makanan dan kue menular ke anak laki-laki saya. Dia begitu amat antusias setiap kali saya mencuci beras atau membuat kue seringkali saya justru dilarang untuk ikutan. Mungkin buat sebagian besar orang memasak itu masih tugasnya perempuan tapi bagi saya memasak itu universal. Saya teringat kata-kata Gordon Ramsay disalah satu acara dia berkata "saya tidak mengharuskan anak-anak saya untuk mengikuti jejak saya tapi anak-anak saya tetap harus bisa masak untuk dirinya sendiri" (kurang lebih seperti itu artinya). Makanya saya tidak pernah melarang anak saya untuk memasak bahkan dia punya mainan masak-masakan sendiri karena buat saya memasak itu sebuah proses bahwa apa yang kita makan itu adalah hasil dari proses yang panjang. Dari mulai proses menanam oleh petani kemudian dijual oleh pedagang sampai kita beli lalu diolah agar bisa kita makan. Proses yang harus dihargai jadi kita selalu bersyukur atas apa yang kita makan.

Ini bolu kukus hasil cetakan sang anak.

.Cheers.

Why I Stop Shopping

I never really know if I like shopping or not. But I did know that once I had more than 20 pairs of shoes (high-heels/flats/wedges/sneakers) and countless bags and infinite amount of clothes (some are still have price tag hanging). And quite amount of money on my saving account because I like saving from when I was a elementary schooler. I had all of those when I was in high school and I have pocket money more than my average friends had. But then I went broke. That was when I was in college.

I struggle with money when I was in college. Did a lot of part time to have some spare money because money is tight and I no longer a trust fund kid (there's no such thing in my country but yes I spend my early year from my grandparents money but u know what I mean). So there's no longer activity that involves money in my part. I do still shop for necessity only and it's cheap clothes cheap bags cheap shoes something I can throw away easily if it's rotten. But sometimes I get a hand down branded clothes or bags or wallet from my other family which is great! I love expensive things... I mean who doesn't.

I didn't know when I found shopping is actually a wasting activity that leave me with nothing but exhausting feeling but I no longer enjoy shopping more over window shopping. But don't get me wrong I still go to a mall (even it's not too often) or sometimes a window shopping (more like a scanning shopping from outside the store to look something that might catch my eyes but mostly nothing attract me). And please separate shopping with groceries shopping, that one I love doing it.

At first I began feeling such a waste of money that I have clothes that was new (even still with the price tag) or clothes that only been wear one time or bags that some I rarely use it. That's when I started giving away clothes and bags and shoes. I no longer seeing the things that had brand in it or how beautiful it is, nope, I saw comfy only. So I went trough my closet and give away a lot of clothes that I don't feel 100% want to wear and leave clothes that I 100% will wear and that goes the same way to the bags and shoes. Untill today I've been doing a lot of sorting and able to reduce to 1/4 of what I used to have and still I feel my clothes and bags are still to much. And I am going to do another sorting out in this short haul. At first it wasn't easy to throw things out some are belong to my mom and some are things that I love but I keep telling myself that there's people out there that didn't even have decent clothes or bags or shoes and that it will be more usefull if it was wear by someone in need. And close my eyes.

Today I do shop but not for fashion but for necesity but not much and everytime I bought one or two clothes I made sure I give away one or two (the same amount) clothes/shoes/bags that I rarely wear. I once went with no shopping for more than 6 months. I sometimes envy with people that wear beautiful or up-to-date clothes/bags/shoes but that's only that because once I hit a store for shopping usually I leave with a headache. Something I am working on.

It's less than 2 weeks that ramadhan coming and I am going to do sorting out again! I saw on TV about "Outle Dhuafa" that sells clothes for free for people in need and they open for donations and that's are my clothes heading to. Just clothes. Because as per today my husband has more shoes than I am and my kid has more clothes than I am but I still have more bags (my mom bags mostly). So If you want to donate some please look on their instagram.

.cheers.

Disconnect to Reconnect

picture from here

 Coming from a big family that loooove to have gathering so much make me feel so much enjoyment, comfort and at ease even for someone introvert like me. I used to sulk if my dad decided to spend time at home only on Eid day instead of going house by house of my relatives. Growing up lacking of love always made me try to find love by having connection with people either family or friends. And I'll always be that kind of person that will make more effort to connect with someone till this day. But since 5 years ago, the moment where I actually accept myself and able to love myself, I become more selective on having a relationship with both family or friends.

For me, a relationship is a TWO WAY process. For both relationship with family or friends. A relationship require efforts from both sides. And I learned the hard way about one way relationship. So It's been years that I finally able to have a TWO WAY relationship and I intended to savor that relationship. I never cut-off a relationship but it just vanished the moment I no longer put effort to it. Does it hurt? Like hell. At first, I was appalled that the reason I lost a relationship are because of money, because of marriage, because of a man, because of a woman. But then I realized their worth of my time and no they are not worth it. So I just didn't have to put so much effort anymore. I no longer need pile of relationship just so that I am loved. And I am happy with that because I love myself more.

But this year I have a lot of talks with my husband and how his circle of relationship are much worse than me so we decided to RECONNECT with people. Both family and friends. To me, some are an unsolved case but most of all I want to reconnect because Allah SWT. Because what we called hablumminannas (human relationships with other humans). Through this reconnecting I hope to make more  A NEW BEGINNING and find a lot of closure that I might need and RE-START again.

  

.Cheers.

Dirty Thirties

As today I turn 30... Big THREE-FREAKIN-O

Fortunately I only have two people that remember my birthday: one of my brother (the other two will have a kick in their ass for not remembering mine) and one of my very best friend.

Today, I thought a lot of things. My hedonis kind of time... hahaha... I have that but not that hedonis. I miss that time... and that many many time that I spent in rooftop. I thought about a lot of things that I am not able to do or I choose not to do exactly. There's regret. But there's also realization because twas merely a dream and I live in real.

I've been dealing with the consequences of being a married woman, a wife and a mother. To the point that gave me headache. Meaning it's going to explode in my face soon. I give up a lot in this life in my life for people that mostly didn't appreciate me so it is my resolution to not give a damn fuck about other peoplw anymore. I want more me. The me that love me. I haven't been able to feel that for long.

So, me happy birthday mo chroi.

.Cheers.

A Little Escape

Freedom. Twas what I crave right now. 

A free time to do what ever I want before I was a mother. A 'me time' they called. Twas hardly available for me. Don't get me wrong I have a lot of free time at day and night but I can't use it as free as I want. As a nerd as I am I crave writing and reading so bad. So bad that right now I leave my kid alone just to write. SO bad that my mind could explode and I went cray cray because I keep talking to myself instead of writing to clear my mind off. 

At day my kid won't allow me to touch my laptop or my phone. And I prefer to write with my laptop rather than my phone. So I spend a lot of my time entertaining an almost-two-years-old kid. And at night I manage to read couples of page of book on my kindle. But wait A COUPLE OF PAGES?? When am I gonna finish the book. Fortunately reading was the only thing that I still constantly able to do without so much distraction but sometimes it wasn't enough because reading was like stuffing my head with a lot of thing and writing was like stuffing out what inside my head. So now maybe I have to insist a little bit so that I can have time to write what my mind wants to.

I've just finished book called The Premonitions Series by Amy A. Bartol that consist five books.

I managed to finished it in one week. Yeah when I read book in series that might consist more than 2 or 3 books it took all my sleeping time so yes I am suffered with sleep deprivation as now I am writing. Not many knows or do I share what kind of books I like. Here, I like supernatural stuff but particularly angels and demons and beings with wings ha.ha.ha. I am an adult but prefer to read a YA books, yeah, because it's easy not requiring me to think. Come on I am a stay-at-home mom I need something light after the day I had. I,too, like romance and erotica genre to switch over if I was stuff with angel stuff. It's good you know to let my brain to let the steam off lol. Do you have books to recommend for me? I'd love to know and perhaps put it in my to-read list.

I missed the hard stuff you know, the classic, the poetry, the grown-up one but maybe I'll never finished reading it if I were to start it. Dunno, maybe someday. And I hope someday I could write such a book. In English off course because my bahasa is disaster. :)

.Cheers.

Being a Wife and Mom

I came across this article of Willow Smith ask her mother Jada Pinkett Smith on how hard is it being a wife and mom and make me thinking what I find in my 4 years becoming a wife and almost 2 year becoming a mom. Her answers makes me realize what I've been through and what's coming through.

Since I haven't had a little girl to ask me those kind of question or maybe never since I prefer son than daughter I'd like to see how am I gonna answer that. So here we come.

How hard is it being a wife and mom?

Ain't easy for sure but since I was the type of person who like to analyze everything puts me in advantage what to expect on being a wife and a mom even before I am one. It was hard at first for everything, being a wife and a mom, I cried a lot because I feel like I am alone which is true. Even though I went through a 9-years relationship with my husband and quite a lot know him didn't mean it was easy. A key to succesfull relationship is a communication. At that time even though we communicate it was not a communication that have a good result in the end. And it just wrong, imo. But those rocky road was our way to a more good communication. It took us 2 years of marriage to the place we are now. I could talk everything to him without being afraid if I am gonna hurt him or if it will made him angry and vice versa. But life itself was a rocky trip there will always a bump here and there.

To be truth I still can't believe if I am a mother. Having a kid not really on my life agenda there I said it. Simply because I didn't trust myself to be able to become one. But now I am a mother of one that change everything. It is true that once you have a kid your world changing. Most of your vocal point is your kid. The first year was the hardest, I think, because they depend a lot on me. And I believe that the second year and the years after that require different challange which is usually not easy. But there's million of mother in the world that knew how I feel. And therefore it gave me strength that I know I can do this. Love you kiddo.

So, what do you think? How hard is it being a wife and a mom for you?

.cheers.

Motherhood: "I am not that strong!"

Pictures from here

Menjadi ibu rumah tangga itu ga mudah sama ga mudahnya jadi ibu yang juga bekerja. Masing-masing punya kelebihan dan kekurangan masing-masing. Kali ini mau sharing rasanya jadi ibu rumah tangga full time.

Saya jadi ibu rumah tangga full time sejak hamil 3 bulan. Selama hamil belum ada dukanya diem di rumah seharian. Malah saya sangat menikmati di rumah. Walau sebenarnya saya bukan orang yang suka keluar rumah tanpa urusan yang jelas walau itu sekedar window-shopping. Tapi semenjak melahirkan dan punya anak menjadi ibu rumah tangga full time jadi momok tersendiri buat saya. ( serem ya bahasanya huhuhhuhu)

Masa lalu saya membuat saya biasa melakukan ini itu sendiri tanpa bantuan orang lain. Jadi jangan pernah berharap saya bakal minta tolong selama apa yang harus dikerjakan bisa saya kerjakan sendiri. Bapak saya mengajarkan saya hal-hal yang juga laki-laki kerjakan jadi jangan heran kalau saya bisa ganti ban mobil sendiri ya. Ada masanya suami keenakan karena sampe urusan mengangkat galon air saja saya lakukan sendiri. So kalo saya minta tolong artinya saya udah bener-bener ga bisa. Which is sebenernya ga bagus juga....

Kalau perempuan lain setelah melahirkan di manjakan dengan berbagai bantuan dari sana sini saya justru seminggu setelah melahirkan sudah jeger (kata yang liat ya bukan kata saya) walau sambil menahan perih sisa-sisa jahitan. Dua minggu setelah melahirkan saya sudah mencuci baju, masak, setrika dan bebersih rumah sendiri. Bangga? Ga juga biasa aja. Mungkin di mata orang saya bisa terlihat hebat atau bisa juga terlihat sok kuat. Either way I don't care. Cuma didikan bapak saya untuk jangan pernah menyusahkan orang itu lekat sekali.

Pagi ini tetangga sebelah bilang "neng, hebat ya kuat ngerjain semuanya sendiri. Nyuci, nyetrika, masak, bebersih rumah." Kalau udah seperti ini rasanya senang sekali bahwa ada orang yang perhatian dengan apa yang saya lakukan. Walaupun apa yang saya lakukan tadi bukan karena saya punya banyak pilihan justru karena saya tidak punya banyak pilihan. Hidup secukupnya dari single-income itu tricky jadi saya sudah tidak bisa itu hura hura belanja sana sini tanpa tujuan dan bahkan hire ART.

Jadi saya harus mengerjakan segala keperluan suami dan anak dan rumah sendiri tanpa melupakan keperluan untuk saya sendiri. Jujur buat saya tantangan menjadi ibu rumah tangga yang full time ada di rumah itu bukan terletak di bosan stay di rumah. Justru memenuhi kebutuhan suami anak rumah dan tentu saya sendiri.

Adakalanya saya malas sekali lihat tumpukan cucian yang harus di cuci dan di setrika atau tumpukan cucian piring dan segala peralatan masak belum lagi si kecil yang sedang senang sekali mengeksplor segala barang di penjuru rumah. Atau si kecil yang sedang berenergi mengajak main atau saat si kecil tanpa henti menangis saat sakit. Saat-saat seperti itu rasanya saya cuma mau duduk diem pasang musik keras-keras lalu nangis tanpa ingat apa-apa. Tapi tetap saja ada anak kecil lucu itu yang saya ingat saat saya mulai menutup diri dan mengatur emosi. Itulah ya yang namanya ibadah. Buat saya lupa sama semuanya. Buat saya lebih ikhlas dan ikhlas lagi.

Saya ga selalu kuat dan hebat koq. Ada masanya saya benar-benar merasa saya hampir gila. Gila karena saya tidak punya lagi yang namanya me-time. Tapi saya coba untuk terus ambil napas panjang lalu hembuskan pelan-pelan lalu peluk anak kecil yang lucu lalu everything's all right.

.Cheers.

Soul, Books and Library

I always love reading whether it's books or comics. There's a time when I was in high school I read Indonesian literature from Indonesia author which I unconsciously choosing a thought-provoking theme and hard to chew with in through my mind. I was a comic freak when I was in college. There's a cheap comic rental along the way to my college so instead of bringing subject lit I brought a bag full of comics and instead of studying I read comics in most all prof's class. Sorry sir.

Just recently, when I was getting bored with daily routine I started read books but this time more novel-like with varies genre from romance, dystopian-utopian, young-adult, erotica, paranormal and sometimes arduous English literature but never a horror or mystery one. Never. Just never.

Realizing reading books actually broaden my mind. I actually learn a lot of things I never knew exist and I enjoyed the most about social, psychological, character development and pain. In Indonesia, reading was a luxury hobby because we don't make it a good habit on that. We love piracy because it's cheaper but I know that is definitely wrong. Plus with our lack of purchasing power over book made reading wasn't a big habit. Whilst going to mall doing nothing but wandering like loony, blabbering ridiculous jokes, buying new clothes, or ogling hot strangers seemed common hobby here.

I love books a lot because it's richen my soul and I am dying to have a personal library or at least a giant massive bookshelf at home. I do hope my kids will inherit this hobby from their mother. I hope I can have these kind of library in my future home, someday.

+ + + +

You realize I like earth-tone color, right? I do like it a lot because it gives warmth. So do you like books?

.Cheers.

A Day Without .....

...... my smartphone. 

I didn't do it on purpose because I forgot to bring them with me, but I am glad I forgot.

I was pretty anxious at first because my blackberry is for work purpose but I realize it I have no love for my blackberry so I am glad he's sitting on my desk at home. 

I am like men out there and nowhere like women because I like gadget A LOT. I've been trying out a lot of brands and even now but I didn't have desire to change my smartphone like I did. The more technology as smartphone and other gadget out there I was back to basic, I like it if there's no such thing as smartphone, laptop, tab, or else. Just simple thing as lame computer and slow connection internet. 

I didn't really like smartphone nowadays because it's too complicated with applications and never-ending soc med drained your smartphone battery. What use of mobile phone when it easily run out of battery? I hate it because it makes people easily connect to soc med and do nothing than staring at their smartphone.

I like when everything so old school. But that's not what happen out there.

These are TeliaSonera Trends research studies, which they conduct periodically via mobile (and web) apps that are available in 12 countries and for Apple, Android and Symbian smartphones (link)

If I had a chance in the future, I'd like to do it again (or maybe next time I'll do it on purpose).

.Cheers.

Midnight Train to Georgia

Welcome to Saturday: 9. What we've committed to our readers is that we will post 9 questions every Saturday. Sometimes the post will have a theme, and at other times the questions will be totally unrelated. Those weeks we do "random questions," so-to-speak. We encourage you to visit other participants posts and leave a comment. Because we don't have any rules, it is your choice. We hate rules. We love memes, however, and here is today's meme!

Saturday 9: Midnight Train to Georgia

1) Have you ever been to the Atlanta? Nope. I've never put my foot on continental US.

2) Do you enjoy traveling by train? I commute everyday using train for work so I didn't enjoy much but if it's long-destination journey I prefer train, yes!

3) "Midnight Train to Georgia" is Sam Winters' signature number at the karaoke bar. What's your go-to song when you take the mic? Wow, better not to hear me sing a song. But if you insist you'd listen to my alter ego singing a bloody rock songs

4) Do you drink tea? Always. No coffee just tea.

5) What's the most recent thing you purchased for your home? Air freshener? My home now pretty decent now so probably a couple of years.

6) Are there dishes in your kitchen sink right now? Nope. Just finished it before I do this meme.

7) Have you ever been fingerprinted? Yes. On airport.

8) What was the last check you wrote? No check required here.

9) What color are your eyes? Dark brown or Black? Dunno.

I'm doing this quick because I'll have massage and full body treatment. Heaven.

Hope you a heavenly weekend :*

.Cheers. 

Birthday In Silent

Time pass by very fast. Last year, I had Birthday In Silent when I turned 26. Likewise today, I expect a silent birthday. As usual I don't celebrate birthday and this very early morning my hubs gave me a surprise while I was in my sleep by bringing me 27 white roses. Sweeeet. Thanks hubs :* . But I do have wishlist as always, 27 wishlist:

1. My happy little family with my hubs and future kids
2. Successful in my religion 
3. To stay grateful
4. Ready to conceived a baby someday within this year
5. Healthy and stronger woman
6. Devote to become a good daughter
7. Devote to become a good sister
8. Devote to become a good granddaughter
9. Devote to become a good daughter-in-law
10. Successful in my work
11. Want to travel solo somewhere around Asia or Indonesia. Somewhere with beach and hot so I can tan myself
12. Live together with my hubs only
13. Want to join any social organization for children in need
14. Want to able to become someone people always can talk to
15. A great friend - My own definition of friend
16. Learn MuayThai
17. Live without hesitation
18. A new unique mug for my desk at office. Mine's broken
19. To work from home
20. Blog more
21. No need to work out to get lean muscle in my hand
22. Signed copy of Fisher Amelie's books
23. Get tanned
24. Learn French
25. A great kitchen set. I love great kitchen but I don't love to cook
26. Able to stay young and celebrate another birthday in the next following year
27. An Audi R8

Two years ago my wishlist was about stuff and this year mostly my wishlist is about life. Whatever it it isn't a big matter as long as I stay grateful. Stay grateful in good times and bad times. I love you life. Always.

.Cheers.

Sanctuary

Bedroom always be my sanctuary where I demand serenity and comfortableness but this is the first time I kept distracting myself with dissatisfaction. 

Bedroom is authority. Line of privacy. A bunk where you want to throw your body after a whole tiring day. and sleep like a bull in grace. 

I am not expecting a luxury bedroom, no, but like my previous bedrooms all feel personal and it contained everything that satisfy me. 

I'd like to put all my stuff on my bedroom in neat one because I have allergy and like most place in my country they throw about dust that I hate the most. It is important for me to put everything closed and neat so it's easy for me to clean it.

I face a challenge in my present bedroom that I found I must remodel and reorganize everything as I live with two in tiny little room that should fit both clothes, which not now.

I don't know where I start but I guess it's silly to throw away all my clothes which I already did half of it and still everything just doesn't fit in my room.

This are some inspiration I wish I could make it true in the following months.

All pictures are from Freshome : 40 Small Bedrooms Ideas To Make Your Home Look Bigger and still I could not decide how am I gonna organize my room as I have very limited space to put a lot of my stuff. Or should I follow Carrie Bradshaw suggestion when you married a man ask for a big closet rather than diamond :p

Farewell Vampires

Finally!! The most anticipated movie this year "Breaking Dawn Pt. 2" released on Friday, November 16th 2012.

I don't watch movie in the cinema recently. Money issues (read: being wise on spending money unless the movie I expect to be worth the cost). So I was in long holiday and miserably alone, husband need to work on Friday to Sunday. So after packed up for all my husband necessity, we went to cinema to buy the ticket in advance. 

I buy two ticket: Skyfall and (off course) Breaking Dawn Pt. 2

I watched Skyfall at 15.15 first and Breaking Dawn at 19.00. Five minute late due to high rain and traffic-not so good combination but who cares. 

Skyfall is as usual Bond-type movie with lots of action lots of gun lots of sexy woman. Gotta admit Javier Bardem really put a good role as a villain. I couldn't even recognize him at first, he went to blonde his hair and that made him look different and evil. The best part is Adele took part on the OST and damn good as usual.

Back to Breaking Dawn Pt.2, what can I say? It's definitely good. More humor and more human. Since I already expected that the film are going to be far from the novel, I didn't feel disappoint. I feel sated as the movie is finally come to an end. Some important part is there and that's enough. The best part-shocked I think-was when I saw Carlisle fought Aro and the moment later his head on Aro's hand off from his body and then Jasper, Seth, Leah on and on. I just can "F*ck this is not how it supposed to be? There's no fight. This is so wrong" and then BANG! It just Alice's vision. I must be forgot that part.

The favorite to the least (personal opinion): Twillight >>Breaking Dawn Pt 2>> Breaking Dawn Pt.1>> Eclipse>>New Moon ...... What's yours?

 I grew and loved Twillight Saga a lot. Admiring the stories, the cast and the movie-even some are disappointing. I always love magical things vampire, werewolf, dracula and bla bla bla and it happened this vampires are extremely well-looking not mentioning someone in Blade movie :p 

I love finally it came to an end. I was touched that at the end of the movie, they showed all the cast from Twillight to New Moon to Eclipse to Breaking Dawn Pt1 and Pt2 on the credit title each cast by cast and it's very saddening and warm. Gonna miss this type of movie but next year helluva erotic romance movie is on its way. Can't wait. Can't consider it'll get into cinema. Way to go Fifty Shades of Grey! Hahha...

Best way to spend weekend alone, huh? So what are you doing in this long weekend?

.Cheers.

Abracadabra

Forgive me. I love his voice. and I love man who can play piano or guitar. and I worship man who can write beautiful songs.

  

Abracadabra - David Oh

Triplet Festivity

Among all months in a year, November give me the most feels, the mark of the life and the death of the dearest.

. My brother's birthday. It's been 12 years now. We had family dinner and he managed to choose to eat steak. Yes he can choose what he likes and dislikes. Though I found my self at disadvantage to find him a birthday gift. I don't know which category does a 12-year-old boy is, a kid or a teenager? My brothers are the reason I need to become a good sister, a good role mode which somehow I failed to manage it. I never succeed. We all grew with no mother presence and so much drama in life and I have this worry that he needs to go through a life I've been through. The hardship of have no mother as your teacher of life. But I hope he'll manage to go through it as like his other sister and brother manage to go through it. We have this same blood. A blood of a survivor and a fighter. Happy Birthday, F!

. My mother's death. Yes, it's been 12 years by now, as you can see the hint. My mother was one of a mother who put her life in the line to deliver her child, my brother. She was always a tough mother and I grateful that Allah SWT take her away because life can harm her and I don't want that. Every time I've through the hardship where I wish she was there holding and accompanying me I just feel more grateful that she wasn't. For the best mother deserve the best place. In Allah's side. Nothing more beautiful than that. I always love you, mom!

. My 1st Wedding Anniversary. It's been a years + 9 years of relationship means 10 years togetherness. Me and husband never really celebrate our anniversary only at the beginning years of the relationship. And, to be honest, to count it to 1 (one) again and to say Happy Anniversary seemed odd. :) I grateful for every differences that even devastated me we can still together until forever. Thank you husband for letting me be a wife who has a rock star attitude that like to hang out on T-shirt and jeans and sneakers instead of dress, compromise when we will have a child and anything that occur in our little world, giving me freedom to spend couple hundred thousands rupiah in books instead of clothes or shoes or bags, not pushing me to cook instead you cook for me, and all my too-broad open mind and all my harsh thought and all my harsh way to show love. Happy Wedding Anniversary, F! Your the best, always!

This is the way I like to celebrate moments, a single cake and a single candle *blow off*

Thank you for being the biggest part of my life. Family always comes first.

.Cheers.

Tranquil Sunday

I have this perfect weekend last week. I went to BigBang concert on Saturday and spent the whole Sunday by myself. 

I woke up early despite just slept 6 hours after mind-blowing and tiring concert on Saturday. Prepared quick meal for husband and sent him off to training. This is old news that my husband work time is unexpected but most of the time I'll be on my own on weekend. After sent my husband I decided to lay down for a while and start cleaning the house. My in-laws are out for therapy so practically I am alone. I washed clothes, cleaned the house, cleaned the dishes house, ironed the clothes for 2 hours straight and finished at 11 am. I like all to do that stuff a lot, I find it a therapy for me and it makes me happy. 

After I finished all the household stuff I decided to reward my self with a good massage. At beginning I don't really like massage but with how I commuting everyday Bogor-Jakarta the need to have massage every month is inevitable. So I called my massage spa that I usually go every time I want a massage. I found Marun Home Spa one and a half year ago before my marriage where I got my marriage treatment there. Why I like Marun? It's because of the place and the price. I don't really like crowded beauty treatment where lots of woman are in one place because I think it's too noisy. I like the price that I think it's affordable and cheaper than some of beauty treatment in some beauty salon. 

Marun can only serve up to 4 people in one time it keep the tranquility. Make sure to call first to make sure there's a room left. Marun use aromatherapy oil for the massage and you can choose based on what you need such as Immune Booster, Peace of Mind, Skin Rejuvenating, Tension Release and Body Circulation.  They also have treatment for pregnant woman. I should have one when I am pregnant. :)

I usually take head-to-toe treatment which consist of body steam, body massage, body scrub, facial or face massage and hair treatment. It took 4 hours for all the treatment to finish and afterward my body will feel at its ease. Relax and clean.

So what do you have for your tranquil Sunday?

.Cheers.

I Hate Sports. lol.

Yeayyy... Sorry, didn't mean to neglecting this blog. I guess being too happy with life and enjoying life makes me a little forget to post. 

I HATE SPORTS. I knew it just recently. I used to blabbering about how must my husband keep his pace on doing sports. He likes sport but lack of consistency. So here I go, I insist my self to do sport. With riding a bicycle. He said to do it slowly but DANG! I only last to less than ONE HOUR! Argggghhh... 1 round  near the housing complex and after that I went home. But I don't feel any complication with my calves and thighs. So then I have a rest. In the afternoon I AGAIN insist my husband to ride a bicycle a little far this time. I enjoy a lot. I don't feel tired and my heart already adjusting. Still it doesn't last long. That was the last time I ride a bicycle. 

I reach to a decision: I don't like sports. I don't feel like doing it. Sorry husband now I know being commit on doing sports is a big deal. I don't like the weariness.. lol

I thought he's going to be my new boyfriend

Now, I want to try belly dance. I hope I don't lazy enough. :p

.Cheers.

Criss-Cross Me

Yippie my aunt and cousin just went back from Singapore and they got me "Brown Criss-Cross Strap Sandal".

First look I thought It was sort of Gladiator sandal but I got it wrong. It is brother and sister to gladiator sandal but it still different. I don't feel comfortable enuff at first shot but now I like it like a lot.

Here is my criss-cross strap sandal.



sorry for the color. Try my best but the light at my place not too good.

for comparison this are gladiator sandal



I figure most of it has pattern. It has a line in front.

And this is when I try to use it.



I mix my brown criss-cross strap sandal with with white top and and terracotta butterfly necklace. It gave reasons to look like a bit bohemian..happy :)

Grateful

I should be grateful..

GOD gives me such a wonderful life with its pain and victory, incredible family (mom,dad,brothers), other family, sweet friends, substitutes parents, foster brother and sister, nice working place and so forth.

I should be grateful, shouldn't I?

I must, mustn't I?

Being able to deep-breath in such polluted air in infinite fresh air and to walk on foot across the road full magnificent car and its driver every day, I should be grateful.

Living in this world and become an inspiration to my closest people is such a bless. Being able to complement one and another with my ability to speak harshly and even smoothly is such a wonderful things to do.

Even though in some time I prefer to be solid and solitude, there still part I prefer to be chewy and heavy. I am a human no longer a beast without aim. I am unfathomable human being with uncertain future. The only certain thing is an uncertain future. I am so excited how God will take me in the future. I am more excited how where and when I take the future.

So stop bitching yourself if you find you're stuck in a moment where you want to slap your colleague, or screaming in your senior's faces, or begging to your boss to raise your salary or what ever.

Stop grumbling yourself whether you want everyone nice to you or not, or you wish to have double-digit salary in a wink, or expecting more while you struggle less.

Stop proscribing yourself from being a happy individual, or a magnificent personal, or a high-powered person. 

Where ever you are if you're unchanged your bitching habit it'll remain the same.

Please find things to be altered in yourself into something remarkable and then please accept something that you already choose like it should.

Cinta dan Bahagia

Sesaat yang lalu gw merasa indah banget klo bisa menemukan seseorang yang paham dengan jiwa kita. Sedetik kemudian gw disadari kebahagian yang terpancar dari mata-mata tiap orang disekeliling gw. Yang menggugah hati gw adalah kebahagian yang dipancarkan saat dia sedang bersama belahan jiwanya. Pasangan hidup atau Anak. Gw belum pernah tau bagaimana itu dapat merubah kehidupan seseorang tapi melihat itu dari pancaran mata mereka. Bukan..itu bukan kebahagiaan yang selama ini kita punya, itu gambaran kebahagiaan yang lain, yang bukan selama ini kita umbar sana sini. Itu kebahagiaan pribadi yang sifatnya sangat pribadi yang mungkin ga bisa kita bagi dengan orang lain. Kita tidak pernah bisa benar-benar memahami kebahagiaan orang lain dan semua perasaan yang lainnya. Wew, keadaan seperti ini yang kadang-kadang pengen bikin gw cepet-cepet nikah tapi *plak gw harus sadar bagaimana gw akan mencapai kesana dengan posisi gw yang sekarang.

Tapi itu lah kebahagiaan. Gw hanya bisa membaginya lewat senyuman-senyuman saat tau pendaran mata teman-teman gw yang suka memasuki tahap hidup yang baru. Duh jadi merinding. Kapan ya buku hidup aku habis dan berganti yang baru? *can't wait for that ^_^




Cheers,