First Time Cooking Soto Betawi

Kemaren itu hari yang produktif sekali buat saya. Hari itu hari dimana saya seharian masak, pagi hari masak sop sumsum tulang sapi, sore hari masak soto betawi dan masak bubur sumsum untuk snack siang hari. Tapi kali ini saya mau berbagi resep masak Soto Betawi. Buat saya, terlalu berpatokan dengan resep tanpa pakai rasa (hati) dalam memasak belum tentu hasilnya akan selalu enak. Krn saya tiap ikutin resep orang selalu berakhir kurang nikmat. Saya suka liat2 resep dari cookpad yang kemudian dimodifikasi. 

Resep Soto Betawi

Bahan: Daging (saya pakai daging rendang pack yg suka dijual di supermarket, pakai daging yg ada dikulkas saja)

Paru rebus

1 santan kemasan 65ml

200 ml susu ultra putih plain 

Bumbu halus:

8 Bawang merah

6 Bawang putih

1 ruas jahe

1 sdt ketumbar

1 sdt pala

1 sdt lada

1 sdt jinten (saya ga pakai krn ga punya)

Bumbu cemplung:

1 serai

2 daun salam

3 daun jeruk

Cengkeh

Kayu manis

Cara masak:

1. Rebus daging sampai empuk, buang lemak2 kotor yg mengambang. Saya rebus kurang lebih 2 jam. 

2. Haluskan semua bumbu halus kemudian tumis hingga wangi. Masukan serai, daun salam, daun jeruk. 

3. Setelah daging empuk keluarkan kemudian potong2 sesuai ukuran yg diinginkan kemudian masukkan kembali.

4. Masukkan bumbu halus ke dalam panci yg berisi daging rebus. Tambahkan cengkeh dan kayu manis.

5. Masukkan santan 65ml lalu susu

6. Koreksi rasa sesuai dengan selera. Aduk terus jangan sampai susu dan santan pecah.

Soto betawi bisa disajikan dengan tambahan paru/babat/kikil. Kemarin saya hanya pakai paru goreng dengan bumbu kuning. Tambahkan tomat, daun bawang, kentang goreng, emping dan beri sedikit jeruk nipis saat akan disajikan untuk menambah kenikmatan.

Alhamdulillah suami dan anak2 suka sekali soto betawi ini. 

Teman Tapi...

Di Instagram ada salah satu sosok yang saya follow karena seringkali tulisan-tulisan sederhananya menohok dan bikin saya banyak refleksi. Tulisan-tulisannya beragam tapi belakangan lagi sering menggaris bawahi tentang hubungan laki-laki dan perempuan yang sudah memiliki pasangan (menikah ya bukan pacaran) 

Kali ini saya mau nulis tentang ini dulu ya. Betapa ternyata tulisan-tulisan yang bersinggungan dengan 'selingkuh' jadi suara bagi sebagian banyak perempuan. Perempuan-perempuan yang di hidupnya tidak berani bersuara atau yang suaranya tidak didengar. Cukup screenshot dan kirim ke pasangan supaya jadi bahan renungan baginya. Syukur-syukur sadar dan taubat tapi ya ada juga yang tancap gas saja tidak peduli. 

Jaman sekarang mungkin sudah beda ya. Dulu selingkuh itu harus bertemu fisik dulu baru bisa dikatakan selingkuh tapi jaman sekarang dengan kemajuan teknologi selingkuh ga melulu harus berupa fisik. Tapi justru yang lebih berbahaya lagi selingkuh hati. Dari awal chat/sms/wa membicarakan hal-hal ringan seringnya bagi yang bekerja satu kantor beralasan ngobrolin kerjaan lalu lama kelamaan mulai membicarakan rumah tangga masing2. Mulai dari "gimana anak" sampai keluhan "suami/istri pulangnya malem". Rongga-rongga kesepian di rumah tangga yang satu diceritakan ke yang lain berharap yang lain ini bisa mengisi kesepian yang harusnya jadi tanggung jawab pasangannya sendiri untuk isi tapi karena malaas mungkin ya jd lebih mudah ke orang lain. Lalu mulai telp/sms/wa yang bernafas perhatian "lagi dimana?" "Sudah pulang?" "Pulang jam berapa tadi?" "Sukses ya kerjanya" lalu seperti ada yang kurang klo ga dapet kabarnya. Lalu mulai "pulang bareng yuk" "makan malem yuk" dan seterusnya sampai mana? Ga tau lah tergantung keimanan masing-masing aja. 

Kalau sudah gitu yang salah siapa? Ya dua-duanya kan ya. Walau dengan dalih "ga ada apa2 koq" tapi jauh di lubuk hati pasti tau kan klo yang udah dilakuin itu salah kalo ga kan ya ga mungkin umpet2an ya 😁. Atau dengan dalih "kan dia yang buka kesempatan duluan" ya ada kesempatan atau ga ada kesempatan yang waras dan menghargai pernikahan dan pasangannya mau ditaruh didepan mata juga tidak akan tergoda. Cobalah inget pasangan yang menemani dari awal dan anak yang menunggu dirumah. Tapi mungkin kalau temenan sama setan berbuat salah ya asik-asik aja. Justru selingkuh karena haram jadi enak ya. 

Saya doakan yang suka hai sana sini sama pasangan orang supaya inget pasangannya sendiri. Kalau pernikahannya gersang yang disiram ya pasangannya sendiri jangan pasangan orang. 

Nulis ini berangkat dari makin merajalelanya valakor valakor ga tau diri 😂 dan mendengar cerita embak-embak yang ngajakin pulang malem suami orang, terus dinner ke Cibubur Kunction ampe jalan-jalan ke mall sampe mallnya tutup padahal istri suaminya lagi nunggu dirumah padahal suaminya sendiri lagi kerja banting tulang. Mudah2an dapet hidayah ya sesembak. 

Me In Hijab

picture from here

After all the ups and downs. After all the silly questions to help me brace the decision. After a 3-long years I finally decided myself to wear a hijab. 

It's been years full of sign and my anxiousness of all the ridiculous fear but I am glad I was there in the end. If anything I would make a habit to wear a hijab as early as possible if I have a daughter. If anything I was mad to my parents that they did not teach me to wear one from the beginning. So that I have to have this struggle. So that I have to re-boot my mind of how I see beauty. Islam is a beauty and all the clause in it is beauty. So wear a hijab is a beauty.

"O you Children of Adam! We have bestowed on you raiment to cover your shame as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness, that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition.” (Quran 7:26)“

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31).

“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59). (from here)

I am in no place to judge others so you don't have to make excuses in your heart to make what you did is okay (If you are not wearing a hijab). But I remember once I was ashamed and cried because I am Islam and still not wearing a hijab. Today I may not in a phase where I start wearing a long abaya but I start with lose clothes and I hope someday I will be there. I realized that still learning a lot of thing and I hope someday I will be a Muslim as a whole and die in Islam as a whole.

Do I Lose Myself in Motherhood?

Image

The answer is I don’t know. Maybe. I think many moms lose themselves in motherhood. Maybe I am one of them because I am slowly fading away from myself and my interest and my passion without even realizing that it is happening. I starting to realize just now but really maybe I am just a lazy person that use taking care of my kid as an excuse not to do more or at the end of the day it’s just exhausting to have what’s left of my energy to do what I like and opt for sleep, I don’t know. 

Motherhood is one long and tiring journey of changing diapers, feeding, and breastfeeding and on and on and on. I’ve just finished self-weaned my kid at 30 months and on the way to toilet training and separate sleeping. People would ask me why I haven’t toilet train my kid and the answer would be because I was lazy, I want the easy way of not having to wait my kid sit on the toilet or simply I don’t want to mop if he peed on the floor. Or why decide to separate sleeping so early because I want my bed back and my beauty sleep back. Motherhood means a lot of future homework. I overwhelmed.

When I was single or in my early years of marriage I used to love reading, listening music, writing my thoughts on my blog, writing poems and walking but simple things like that was a hard bargain to do anymore. Through the first and second years after my kid was born I was able to read books, lots of it, but in doing so I have to sacrifice my already limited-to sleep to nearly hanging by a thread. If I was reading a book I’d likely only sleep for 2 to 3 hours a day and it’ll run till the book finished and I have a habit to hardly put a book down once I read it. So they are days where I barely sleep and it affect my health, I was easily have asthma attack and skin allergic. Now, it’s been months since I enjoy reading. I’d like to write lots of things but in the end it’ll just end up in draft because I was suddenly blank or interrupted by the kid and those thoughts just fly by and never came back. And I haven’t walk in ages. 

Things I usually do slowly just nowhere in my agenda anymore. I love my kid and won’t trade anything with him but sometimes a really quality time with myself is just what I need. To me a mother is the world of the family and I believe a happy mother make a happy kid and husband thus a happy family. It’s important for a mother to be happy for what and where she is right now. 

Here’s ways I am gonna do to say Hi to myself again:

1.    Start to put myself in a daily and weekly agenda that will allow me to have some alone time

If I can make a daily time table for my kid to do surely I should be able to make one for me. Try to squeeze in an alone time for myself and make a quiet time for my kid so that he can play or read by himself. 

2.       Be Grateful

I gotta admit my level of gratefulness has been decreasing lately. Weak moments as I am overwhelmed by the task in my hands. Be happy with everything that I am today. 

3.      Start doing what I was doing when I was single like walking and swimming so I can think and clear my heads.

4.     Find new friends

To be honest I’ve been trying to do this but not always comfortable with the people I’ve met so far. But my aunt said to keep looking until you find the one you feel comfortable with. So that’s mean I have to keep looking. 

So Moms any of you have the same experience with me? I’d love to hear your stories. 


.cheers.

Me Vs Cooking

Tergelitik sama pertanyaan salah seorang sahabat waktu buka puasa kemarin: koq lo sering masak sih? Jawaban yang terlintas di kepala cuma: ga ada kerjaan lagi (secara saya stay-at-home mom) *ga bermaksud mendeskritkan sahm dengan ga ada kerjaan ya kerjaan rumah mah selalu ada. Dan sahabat saya bukan satu2nya orang yang terheran-heran dengan kesenangan saya memasak atau kebisaan saya memasak.

To be honest ga banyak yang tau kehidupan saya termasuk kecintaan saya terhadap masak (makanan dan kue). Mungkin banyak yang ga bakal percaya tapi this is the truth. Awalnya karena nenek saya berkecimpung di dunia perkateringan dan seluruh anak perempuannya termasuk mama saya mau ga mau suka ga suka jadi ikutan. Karena saya termasuk anak nene (anak yang dibesarkan oleh nene) saya banyak menghabiskan waktu dengan nene saya. Saya lupa tepatnya tapi semenjak SD kelas 5/6 saya sudah fasih memegang pisau dapur yang tajam dan fasih mengupas dan memotong wortel. Sejak SD itu pula saya sering keluar masuk pasar tradisional di pagi-pagi buta bersama nene saya atau bersama mama saya. Sahabat saya dulu adalah tukang ayam langganan mama di pasar yang setiap saya datang beliau selalu kasih saya uang Rp. 20.000,-  (20 tahun yang lalu uang segitu itu besaar). Di usia 10/11 tahun tu mama saya sudah mempercayakan saya ke pasar sendiri untuk memesan kebutuhan katering nene saya atau keperluan mama saya yang lain. Kebiasaan saya membantu nene atau mama saya berlangsung sampai saya sma jadi bisa dibayangkan 8 tahun ikut berjibaku di dapur. Jadi saya terbiasa bangun dari jam 3 pagi untuk ikut membantu lalu berangkat jam 5 pagi ke tempat nene saya berjualan dan berjualan sampai jam 12 lalu pulang dan membantu mama saya mencuci dan membersihkan peralatan memasak.

Saya sendiri kalau ditanya lebih fasih bikin kue daripada memasak makanan. Karena saya tumbuh melihat mama saya memasak kue dan nene saya memasak makanan. Tapi tugas saya banyak di kue daripada makanan. Sejak SD mencetak kue ketan dan kue lupis adalah tugas saya. Di SMP dan SMA saya sudah membuat klepon dan kue lapis pepe sendiri walau semua bahan sudah disediakan mama saya. Di kuliah saya jenuh dan hanya membantu jualan tante saya. Saya sendiri belum pernah belajar dari nol sama nene dan mama saya karena saat saya sudah cukup besar untuk memasak sendiri mama saya meninggal. Tapi memori karena sering melihat nene dan mama saya memasak makanan dan kue jadi memori yang seringkali saya ingat pada saya masak. Ga bisa dipungkiri bakat memasak mengalir deras di keluarga mama saya. Semua perempuan di keluarga mama saya bisa masak dan itu menurun ke cucu cucu perempuannya. Ya, saya dan sepupu saya suka memasak. Bahkan sepupu saya lebih berani dari saya karena sepupu saya berani menjual hasil masakannya. Sesuatu yang saya takuti sebenernya. Jadi ga ada cerita orang lain mencoba masakan saya kecuali suami, bapak dan adik2 saya.

Suatu waktu saya pernah berujar kepada om saya "om mau berkebun nih" lalu om saya menjawab "ga ada itu sejarahnya dikeluarga kita berkebun kalau masak iya". Tapi itu lah adanya darah memasak begitu kental di saya. Saya suka memasak saya menikmati bikin kue. Tapi jangan berharap saya jualan ya atau kasih tester. Saya pribadi meragukan kemampuan diri saya karena saya bukan orang yang bisa memasak pakai resep saya cenderung pakai feeling. Karena setiap kali saya memasak pakai resep hasilnya akan aneh sekali makanya saya ga pernah berani orang lain makan makanan saya karena takut beda selera. Saya sendiri penyuka clean taste yang artinya ga terlalu suka banyak bumbu. Saya suka rasa alami sayuran. Itu kenapa dalam hal bikin kue saya sering gagal. Bikin kue itu harup pakai resep dan precise sekali tapi yang terjadi saya sering pakai feeling jadi yang bisa merasakan eksperimen saya hanya orang2 terdekat saya saja. Saya sendiri baru rajin memasak ketika tinggal di rumah sendiri karena lebih bebas ya. Bisa kreasi apa aja yang di mau.

Karena dari kecil saya sudah berkecimpung di dunia permasakan katering dan jualan hal itu memberikan momok tersendiri buat saya sekarang. Karena saya tahu betul betapa lelahnya berjualan dibidang makanan, uangnya ok karena profitnya bisa 2x lipat tapi usaha yang dikeluarkan juga luar biasa. Makanya saya ga pernah mau diminta berjualan atau menjual makanan yang saya buat. Itu dan karena lahir dan besar dari keluarga yang sangaaat menyukai makanan saya punya standar tersendiri soal makan yang dijual.

Adanya kecintaan saya memasak makanan dan kue menular ke anak laki-laki saya. Dia begitu amat antusias setiap kali saya mencuci beras atau membuat kue seringkali saya justru dilarang untuk ikutan. Mungkin buat sebagian besar orang memasak itu masih tugasnya perempuan tapi bagi saya memasak itu universal. Saya teringat kata-kata Gordon Ramsay disalah satu acara dia berkata "saya tidak mengharuskan anak-anak saya untuk mengikuti jejak saya tapi anak-anak saya tetap harus bisa masak untuk dirinya sendiri" (kurang lebih seperti itu artinya). Makanya saya tidak pernah melarang anak saya untuk memasak bahkan dia punya mainan masak-masakan sendiri karena buat saya memasak itu sebuah proses bahwa apa yang kita makan itu adalah hasil dari proses yang panjang. Dari mulai proses menanam oleh petani kemudian dijual oleh pedagang sampai kita beli lalu diolah agar bisa kita makan. Proses yang harus dihargai jadi kita selalu bersyukur atas apa yang kita makan.

Ini bolu kukus hasil cetakan sang anak.

.Cheers.

Why I Stop Shopping

I never really know if I like shopping or not. But I did know that once I had more than 20 pairs of shoes (high-heels/flats/wedges/sneakers) and countless bags and infinite amount of clothes (some are still have price tag hanging). And quite amount of money on my saving account because I like saving from when I was a elementary schooler. I had all of those when I was in high school and I have pocket money more than my average friends had. But then I went broke. That was when I was in college.

I struggle with money when I was in college. Did a lot of part time to have some spare money because money is tight and I no longer a trust fund kid (there's no such thing in my country but yes I spend my early year from my grandparents money but u know what I mean). So there's no longer activity that involves money in my part. I do still shop for necessity only and it's cheap clothes cheap bags cheap shoes something I can throw away easily if it's rotten. But sometimes I get a hand down branded clothes or bags or wallet from my other family which is great! I love expensive things... I mean who doesn't.

I didn't know when I found shopping is actually a wasting activity that leave me with nothing but exhausting feeling but I no longer enjoy shopping more over window shopping. But don't get me wrong I still go to a mall (even it's not too often) or sometimes a window shopping (more like a scanning shopping from outside the store to look something that might catch my eyes but mostly nothing attract me). And please separate shopping with groceries shopping, that one I love doing it.

At first I began feeling such a waste of money that I have clothes that was new (even still with the price tag) or clothes that only been wear one time or bags that some I rarely use it. That's when I started giving away clothes and bags and shoes. I no longer seeing the things that had brand in it or how beautiful it is, nope, I saw comfy only. So I went trough my closet and give away a lot of clothes that I don't feel 100% want to wear and leave clothes that I 100% will wear and that goes the same way to the bags and shoes. Untill today I've been doing a lot of sorting and able to reduce to 1/4 of what I used to have and still I feel my clothes and bags are still to much. And I am going to do another sorting out in this short haul. At first it wasn't easy to throw things out some are belong to my mom and some are things that I love but I keep telling myself that there's people out there that didn't even have decent clothes or bags or shoes and that it will be more usefull if it was wear by someone in need. And close my eyes.

Today I do shop but not for fashion but for necesity but not much and everytime I bought one or two clothes I made sure I give away one or two (the same amount) clothes/shoes/bags that I rarely wear. I once went with no shopping for more than 6 months. I sometimes envy with people that wear beautiful or up-to-date clothes/bags/shoes but that's only that because once I hit a store for shopping usually I leave with a headache. Something I am working on.

It's less than 2 weeks that ramadhan coming and I am going to do sorting out again! I saw on TV about "Outle Dhuafa" that sells clothes for free for people in need and they open for donations and that's are my clothes heading to. Just clothes. Because as per today my husband has more shoes than I am and my kid has more clothes than I am but I still have more bags (my mom bags mostly). So If you want to donate some please look on their instagram.

.cheers.

Crazy, Tired and Bored Stay-at-home Mom

I've been wanting to write for so long but the writer block and the kid yes were a major excuse for me for not being able to write. It's been 26 months being a stay-at-home mom plus 7 months a stay-at-home wife. That's A LOT. And this is just the time I have no idea what I have to do. I've been suffering from major boredom like literally I hate my life. It's nice to have a husband and a kiddo but sometimes I just wanna say "enuff is a enuff". The responsibility the never ending chores the demand the constant things just left me there in a corner of a dark room and cry.

I looooove my kiddo but being a parent is damn hard. I don't always get a me time which I should've known there's no such thing as me time when u have a kid. If you argue taking a shit uninterupted is a me time well there's your me time but to me NO that's not a me time that's me doing my humanly business. I tried so haard to be excited of the day but the truth I dread it. I don't know if you can but I can't spend my time from 7 am to 7 pm playing kiddie toy and talking baby words, it's boring. So sometimes I let the kid watch TV or DVD or play with my phone then you got to read on Facebook from parenting experts the negative effects of children that got to spend time watching tv and gadget. I mean wth! It makes me questioning myself, my ability as a parent.
Some of you probably have sitter or grandparents to play or care with your kid but me, I did it all. An adult once said to me to not let my kid watch tv but I know for sure that person never have a taste of being a stay-at-home mom and have to deal with kid all day. Ooo please never talk if u never in my shoes or offer any help.

Being a tired stay-at-home mom affects your interaction with your spouse. Well, in my case it is. My husband always away for works and everytime he went home he just want to relax and have couple quality time. Little did he know that kind of quality time is a rare thing. He, too was faced with kiddo demand of attention and it took a lot of his time and energy so by the end of the day we were both tired and the first thing in my was bed and sleep. We talked about this how we unconsciously missing our younger age where less responsibilities less chores and more less and less. But then we got to remind each other that this is the new us. The new me. The new you. As a parents. A mother. A father.

When crazy, tired and bored stay-at-home mom phase hit me I will likely remembering my young wild and free me (though the wild me only a couple of people I allowed them to see 😄).  With less responsibilities less chores less cooking less crying more money more fun more free life. Till today I am still juggling how to balance of me as a mother a wife a partner and as myself which never easy but I hope someday I found the right formula that work for everybody but most of all work for me.

.cheers.

P.s. Don't get me wrong I love you both hubs and kiddo to the moon.. I won't trade you for anything well maybe for ice cream. 😛