April Jjang!!

Hi, 

I know it's been a long time since the last time I write a post here. Such a roller coaster feeling in a month. And yeah I have a good news..mmm..you know...finally..mmm..I got engaged. To my almost-nine-years boyfriend.

So yeah this is a new ride with a new excitement. By mean time, I know I lost my mother but how my family, my future family, my fiancee, and my bestfriends show their love for me. I was touched. Deeply touched.

I don't know where life gonna take me from now on, but I guess I have to be ready, I am ready. Though I accept the fact but somehow my humane side wishing you are here to accompany me to through this passage. I should be happy that mom is already in her way-Insyallah-to heaven. Sometimes I keep being greedy to have her help me through my process of life. Oh God I need a hug.

So when I finally decided to get engaged? It's when I realize I'm more able to stand on my own now. I know that one by one and slowly that I hardly appear in my social life. I think in this case I am so much like my mom and dad. Building their own kingdom of happiness. Well, I do have a lot of friends but I choose only to be with the closest one where I feel so much comfortable. As I grow up, I think now I able to run my own decision so much better and I feel it's a good sign. Though my process of life still long and colorful but I am so much ready now. Here, I thank those people (family, my future family and bestfriends) for giving me so much love and accepting the real me but I also apologize for some that still can't figure my real color. I'm kinda uniqe. ^^V

I just figure it out that marriage is a massive things in our culture. I usually joke around telling them that I was born in England so that my 'adat' is Western style. Actually I'm not joking around. My dream was to have a Western style wedding where I don't have to invite a lot of people with very intimate atmosphere. I kinda bored with the color of Indonesian wedding so I really want to use a black 'kebaya', well my fiancee said OK but I don't think my surrounding will say OK. Hahhahha never mind now I accept it that wedding is about celebration and family but I would be lying if I am not sad, I do but that just my human side. I hope I can throw a private bachelor party with my bestfriends.

Mom, I know you are not here. I know we might not knowing each other well due to your limited time. But I am happy for you now, and grateful that you leave us first. I do. I love you. I'll see you soon.

Cheers,

Sofia