Friday, September 25, 2009

Bleeding Me
























I used to be in pain
unidentified pain and dying to survive
I might have only half soul alive where others dead
drown my self on hatred and betrayal
I run...

and NOW
I feel pain
I enjoy pain
I see my pain
I run no more
Even i bleed, ache, sore
I eat every my poignant-heart
with no excuse to run or whatever

I choose live with pain and face it
while i know till i don't know when it'll end 

Fucking Boyfriend



There is something wrong, and there is something right
When you can take me by hands and I will close my eyes.

When you laid down with me, you took the other side.
When you laid down with me, you never slept that night

Are you working up to something? But you give me almost nothing.
Keep me helpless up to something on my knees.

Would you ever be my, would you be my f-cking boyfriend?

Are you an amateur, or is it your unkind?
To torture all the other girls, you keep me by your side.

Are you unsatisfied? You cant make up your mind.
When you can take me by the hands and I will close my eyes.

Are you working up to something? But you give me almost nothing.
Keep me helpless up to something on my knees.

Would you ever be my, would you be my f-cking boyfriend?

I would be so winning, so absolutely winning.
A guarantee in melody, a promise in the sky

Would you ever be my, would you be my f-cking boyfriend?


This song i found it and hell Yeah i love it!!
by The Bird and The Bee

Saturday, September 19, 2009

LOOK AT HER












I love fashion nowadays.
Experiment with new clothes i've never thinking to wear.
Heart Stripe and Flower.
I just bought a black and white stripe batwing top.yey.

Friday, September 11, 2009

(Fina)lly...

(Fina)lly.....

Last day preparing for MSC on Monday and Tuesday but still PD on Wednesday then HOLIDAY..yey..
I've lots of my display pics i want to upload but seems i need to wait home....




 


 (Here they are)

Today, almost faint and all the pain he left burnt...

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Kesendirian yang Menyenangkan...

Haaaaahh...
Senang rasanya akhir pekan ini. Emang ga kemana-mana sie tapi ntah kenapa ada rasa baru yang selama ini belum pernah dirasain. Selalu menganggap malam minggu itu penting untuk keluar bareng pacar atau paling tidak klo tidak punya pacar ya bersosialisasi dengan teman-teman. Weekend ini malah ga keluar kemana-mana dari Jumat malem sampai Minggu. Ada bagian yang terasa sedih karena orang yang sekarang paling dicinta ga ada dan ada bagian-bagian yang mengingatkan padanya. Apart from it, ada ketenangan, ada ketidakpedulian, ada kenyamanan, ada keikhlasan, ada kepuasan di rasa kali ini. dan mudah-mudahan rasa ini bertahan sampai waktu yang lama.
Bersyukur banged sama Tuhan dikasih kemampuan untuk bisa melihat kebahagiaan orang lain dan bagaimana mereka nyaman dan menerima dan mencintai hidup mereka masing-masing yang pasti ada kekurangan dan kelebihan dan tetap membuat mereka menikmati dirinya sendiri. Rasa yang luar biasa. Thank GOD.. 

Dan menyadari cinta itu seperti apa. Gak selalu indah c tapi yakin dan percaya bahwa ada cinta yang indah. Rasanya semua sakit itu tiba-tiba lenyap dan menguap. Semoga semua rasa dan memori yang ga perlu semua menguap dan tidak kembali. 

Terima kasih Allah swt. aku sudah merasakan kekuatan untuk hidup yang luar biasa dan kali ini kekuatan cinta yang sebenarnya.

Lebai yach but that's the truth.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

To Remember Or Not To Remember?


because i'm so foolish, i know only you
you who are looking at someone else,
you probably don't know my heart

there is no me in your day,
probably not even in your memories
but i'm looking at only you as my tears continue to fall
but i'm looking at only you,making memories by myself


i'm happy with looking at your back figure
though you still don't know my heart
though at the end, you'll just brush past me

to me, love is like a beautiful wound even though i see your pretty smile,
i can't smile with you

the days that i miss you so much

the days when it's too hard to bear
the words "i miss you" are dancing on my lips
the days when you fill up my thoughts 
the days when my heart grows cold and i'm sad




"Because I'm Stupid" SS501 

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Mourning call

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Lately i drowned in solitariness too much to fond of..
I read more. I speak more. I write less. I think more.
It took gastric acid come ahead. so strong. i cudn't ignore.


It was yesterday..a phonecall late at night remembering me of the voice i dont wanna remember. at all.


but If you can't hold on let it go and come back in your heart.


And the gigantic oranges seemed sleepy that day. I real missed its heat. Peripheral is cold wild while people with mad setting up AC to less 20. wtf? but the best part was sauna in Gym waited for the kids..They and I were learned fine and gross motoric skills. I bet i'm not good at fine motor skill since i'm not good at art..

Fine motor skills can be defined as coordination of small muscle movements which occur e.g., in the fingers, usually in coordination with the eyes.
Gross motor skills refers to the abilities usually acquired during infancy and early childhood as part of a child's motor development.

But if you can't hold on maybe it's not time for you

PE time !! They practiced to catch and throw ball using their minor hand use. I gave it a try. NOt bad..since i left-handed few but i can't draw.STILL. lol

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It was today. I took economy train from RawaBuntu BSD to Sudimara. It was not delighted at all. At RawaBuntu the train is lower than the platform, i was imagining someone get its foot stuck in..yikes...an at Sudimara there is NO PLATFORM so i jumped out the train so high, so testing my adrenaline, and if you wanted to cross you hafta bow down the train. WTF?? unless you need to die that time.
Again there is 2 railway more so if you wished to get out from the train station u need to pass train-on-train on one of the railway. No platform..Jezz.. Once i heard vaguely an officer announcing..

"Be careful, if you want to pass through train-on-train you need to look to the left and right.. Somehow there was other train passing through"

INSANE!!! And when i pass through the last train in the second last railway..guess what? the train IS MOVING...i cannot believe what just happened...i jumped out and ended up stepping on someone's wares..HAH..sorry mam!
What an adrenaline!! Along the way I thank GOD still save..

And if you can't hold on on your very last try i'll be there in the morning to pull you through

Everyone started asking my pale-empty look..Well, they've just realize it is because fasting while it's not. I'm still surviving from this.

No matter i enjoyed my solitariness. still.

Can't hold on (Melee) over and again